I asked Dad, Mum and Stephen which European cities they wanted to visit during their short visit over this side of the world and they named Paris, Rome and Salzburg as their top pics. In Paris and Rome they certainly chose two of the largest and most popular cities in Europe to visit and with Salzburg they would get something a little smaller but no less beautiful and charming.

Hitting these three cities in just 11 days was going to prove interesting. I thought one of the ways of making the journey a true Euro-trip was to get everyone to use the overnight trains to travel between Paris and Salzburg and Salzburg and Rome. The fact that it was greener than flying was an added benefit. But before I get on to the train part of the journey – our first stop in Europe was Paris.

In Paris we spent a lot of time pounding the pavement – Dad loves nothing better than to just wander and explore. It’s a good sentiment because you do often miss quite a lot by just going from point to point – especially if you are stuck underground on the metro or something like that.

Here are the photo highlights of our Paris leg:

Walking around the Champs-Élysées and along the Seine

A day trip to Versailles. The Palace of Versailles was the centre of political power in France a long time ago but now welcomes many visitors to visit the beautiful golden gilded palace and lush gardens and fountains. If you can plan your visit to Versailles you would do well to buy your ticket in advance otherwise, like us, you will be subject to being stuck in the line for hours! Ticket prices are based on the bits inside the palace that you ant to enter but a visit to the garden is a must. Audio tours, for what they’re worth, are included in the entry price.

The interior of the Palace is as grand as the fence on the outside. Rather interestingly mixed in with the antique stuffs the Palace was also exhibiting some of Takashi Murakami’s work. Apparently he was on Time Magazine’s 100 Most Influential People list back in 2008. It was pretty cool combination of new and old.

The gardens were an absolute delight and at specified times the fountains are switched on so you can enjoy them in all their glory.

No visit to Paris is complete without a visit to the Eiffel Tower. The day for our visit was really nice – I was a bit cruel and made Stephen and my parents climb the Tower. Heh heh. But I think it would have been crueler still to make them wait in line for ages! Actually, I think we all had a lot of fun climbing the stairs. It really was a gorgeous day to be doing so.

The other must visit for many tourists is the Louvre. My family, including me, are not the greatest for art galleries and museums but the Louvre actually managed to hold our interest for more than an hour on this visit. Dad was absolutely fascinated by the sculptures. The line to get in was surprisingly long, even despite the fact it was a constantly drizzle. The entrepreneurs were out selling their umbrellas at ridiculous prices – but if you’re getting a soaking you’d probably pay the world for one!

There were some funny finds in Paris including the ability to order your own meals from a kiosk at McDonalds and the fact we went to the Hippopotamus Restaurant Grill for more than one meal! I asked Caro about the chain when I got back to London and I don’t think she would have recommended it – but we enjoyed the food enough – clearly enough to go back again for another visit!

Oh and I made sure that we didn’t leave without trying out some frog legs … even if it was in a Chinese restaurant!

So, getting on the overnight train to Salzburg was interesting. The train was definitely a step down from the train that Pat and I took when in Finland last December … but we had at least booked out the whole cabin – which, if you can believe it, supposedly fits 6 people! With 4 people we could at least convert two of the beds into a couch. It was cosy and noisy but really good for me to get to sleep because of the rocking of the train.

With our lunch at Noma under our belt we had some time to explore the rest of Copenhagen.

With the exception of Laney we’d all been to Copenhagen before. Laney didn’t have anything in particular that she wanted to do except to visit the free neighbourhood of Christianshavn. We’d actually gone for a walk in that neighbourhood just before Noma, since that is near where Noma is located. It’s really different in the morning to what it is later in the afternoon and night – people were just waking up. The best thing about our morning walk though the area were the dogs. Saw some really cute French bulldogs and pitbulls I could have happily dog-napped! Ha ha. Shame we couldn’t take any photos of the cute little critters.

Most of the rest of the weekend we spent walking around popular districts like Strøget, the pedestrian mall for shopping, where I loved seeing this politically diverse shop window …

… and Nyhavn and the area Amalienborg Palace. Interestingly both Su Yin and I still had an appetite for hot dogs …

For most of the weekend it was fair weather too so we also did a cruise and hit Tivoli to release our inner child.

At Tivoli we saw the cutest little tike. His fairy floss was bigger than he was! (Don’t worry – I asked his Dad if I could take a photo of him!)

We had the funniest pilot on our flight back to London – he asked us to applaud at end of safety brief before he would take off as a sign that we were listening. Even the air steward called him The Mad Captain!

I only had a really really short visit to Greece to visit Mirela this time around so as soon as I landed late on Friday evening we headed straight out to her village in Lykoporia. Visiting Mirela is practically like visiting family so she knows that she doesn’t have to do much to entertain me – especially if we’re somewhere like in Lykoporia where the water is clear, its warm and the sun is out. This post is not so much about the word but more about the pic. Enjoy!

This is what we woke up to on our first day:

Mirela was so excited to cook me up a proper full English breakfast. And the best part was we could eat in our swimwear! Ha!

There was a bit of a breeze about this weekend and with big boats out in the open water the tide was pretty high. Our chairs nearly got washed away!

Oh – and the trip was a great opportunity to test out my underwater camera. Mirela, ever the clown, was a willing test subject.

Awww .. how sweet, the happy couple!

Some “friends” also came along to play with us and Mirela had a great time throwing them out to the deeper water … and I think they must have liked it because pretty soon a whole bunch of them came along. I refuse to think that it was because they were coming to sting us! Ha ha!

Back in Athens Mirela took me to the funniest restaurant called Bar.B.Q. It was really funkily decorated with a random mix of chandeliers

and hilarious art along the panels of the kitchen. All meat themed. I bet the toilets were hilarious too … but I forgot to check them out.

It was really nice to catch up with Mirela and Enrique.

And even more exciting news … just the day before I arrived Enrique had proposed to Mirela! Congrats guys!

I last visited Edinburgh on a very very short visit back when it was heading into winter in November. At this stage Rache was still living in London. That trip was kind of a weird one because though I could technically say I was in Edinburgh … I don’t think we really did any sight-seeing type stuff at all. The visit this time wasn’t that much longer to be honest but it was still a good visit nevertheless.

I took a half day from work to catch the mid-afternoon train up. The train was late by leaving by about half an hour, which caused me a little bit of concern that we would be late for dinner but I needn’t have worried as our 9pm booking gave me more than enough time to make it to Kitchin. Pretty much that was all of our Friday night!

Saturday saw a fairly relaxed start to the day. It was actually festival time in Edinburgh which is always a fantastic time to visit the city as its all abuzz with all the artists in town, not to mention loads of tourists, who are annoying in normal situations, but give Edinburgh quite a lively atmosphere at this time of year. In hindsight I wish I could have taken better advantage of the festival and really booked in some more shows however, as time was limited and my primary goal was to spend time with Rache, I didn’t want to overload my time up there getting carried away attending shows.

One show we did see was called Your Days are Numbered: Maths and Death. The show title really tells you what the show is about – though the subject is dark, Death, the show sets about establishing how it is that each audience member had a 0.000043% chance of dying … umm …. Yeah. So, slowly as the members of the audience “died” off by various causes – we are taken through a journey of what statistics mean in the concept of death, e.g. you are more likely to die from smoking a cigarette than taking a tab of ecstasy … right. It was an amusing show but did have its slower moments when I was fighting off sleep (but I blame that entirely on the late night the night before …)

After the show we headed over to the Foodies Festival at Holyrood Park. The festival has nothing on what we have in London – but what it did have was that added touch of combining comedy and food. We were lucky to get into the Tim Vine show – a hilarious guy who thoroughly entertained us for his slot. I think I like his boxing popcorn the best – the new way to get fit.

We also went in to see the guys from the Rutland, one of Edinburgh’s top dining places. Sadly this was a little less funny and entertaining than Tim Vine’s show but we did have the added bonus of getting to try some cocktails and a lovely dessert.

For the evening we headed somewhere (I have no idea) for a booze cruise with a bunch of Rache’s friends from here work – where we had a live band and got to see a beautiful sunset.

Though it finished at 11.30 I don’t even know what time we got home between not being able to get a taxi back into the city, stopping at a night club (I think we left around 3am), stopping for some cheese and chips at one of those places you stop after being out all night and where we met this Hugh Jackman look-alike, or should I say Wolverine, getting rejected by the bouncers at the casino because one of us, I won’t name names, was too drunk!, and just walking around. I wouldn’t be surprised if it had been nearing sunrise by that time .. don’t get me wrong though – I had an awesome time!

The strip club was an interesting experience. I’ve been trying to get the boys in London to take me for ages but I think they’re too embarrassed! But luckily Matt and another of Rache’s friend was well up for it. The first strip place, the Pleasure Palace, wouldn’t let us in because they had a no girl policy. I could understand – I mean, how hot are Rache and I! ha ha! The Sapphire, the next place we tried, was much more accommodating. Inside girls danced around three poles on the floor – because of the mirror behind them I think they spent most of their time looking at themselves! If they weren’t on the poles (about every 15 mins or so there would be a “performance” they were lounging about on the loungers or speaking to the punters). In the performance some took off their tops and others didn’t. In all it was a lot more modest than I imagined it would be! We had a really good time there however as the music was really really awesome, fantastically sexy of course, drinks were reasonably priced, it wasn’t overly crowded and we had a pool table to entertain us!

As a result of Saturday, Sunday was pretty much a write-off. All we had time for was brunch at Two Thin Laddies where I had possibly the largest pasta serving I’ve had in my life for one sitting … before Rache walked me back to the station to catch the train back to London. It was a great weekend though – and was very happy to spend the time with Rache.

Photos photos photos

The Experience

Horrible and terrible weather awaited us in Split. Worse – the first thing we heard when we got off the ferry was that our accommodation had been double-booked for that evening! What a disaster. They are rather informal with rentals it seems in Croatia – not sure if the agent we booked with was registered or not but her sister ended up taking us to this place about 20 minutes drive out of the city centre. It ended up being two separate flats which was quite good in terms of space but not so much in terms of ease of getting in to town.

But before we even got to that place the driver offered to take us to a place she knew of which was being rented by a relative or something like that. I didn’t see the place but fair to say it was very weird! The four that went in to check the place out said that it was like we were going to be staying in a place where there was already someone living there! And the flat was in a kind of housing estate type area. Very unsafe feeling!

In the end we stayed the one night out of town and the second night in the proper room. Thankfully in both instances we were provided transport … though I don’t know why it was the real estate agent’s sister and her husband! who were doing all the driving around when it should have been the agent herself taking responsibility!

There isn’t a whole lot to see in Split itself (next to the Palace, Cathedral and Squares) so the day we arrived we spent the late afternoon / early evening walking along Riva which is the city promenade and exploring the nearby squares and markets and eating corn!

For the most part the rain stayed away at least but with a storm threatening we decided to make it an early night to make the most of the next day which was spent at ….

Bol! More specifically on what is arguably Croatia’s best and certainly its most well-known breach: Zlatni Rat or Golden Horn.

The journey from Split to Bol is not the easiest. First is the ferry from Split to Brac (which is the island that Bol is a part of), followed by a bus (which is supposed to take 50 minutes but took longer than that) followed by a walk from the town which is supposed to take about 20 minutes but was more like 35. I can tell you though that the walk was very worth it.

When we started our trip out the skies were gray and the rain was falling. But we persevered and prayed that the weather on the island would be different. Arriving at Zlatni Rat it was an improvement somewhat in the sense that the rain had stopped at least but it continued to be overcast. This proved a boon in many ways – we practically had the beach to ourselves and we were able to negotiate a nearly 40% discount on our sunbeds!

Our perseverance paid off as within about an hour of settling in the sky cleared, the sun came out and we got some decent sunbaking in. We were having such a good time that we decided to risk getting the last bus back to what I think was the last ferry leaving Brac!

This was the perfect end to our Croatian holiday … only topped by the fact we had the best views out of our plane window departing the next morning.

Hvar is known for attracting stars and celebrities to its beautiful shores – full of pretty and handsome young things, happening clubs etc. etc. which would make it a natural choice as a destination for us. Heh heh.

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The Experience

Its unfortunate we didn’t really check ferry times etc. until we’d already decided the way we were going to travel because there were no convenient ferries between Dubrovnik and Hvar Town. It would also have been nice to afford one of those decadant yachts to charter to take us there but instead we went with the cheaper option of a speedboat with Dubrovnik Boats! Having no idea what size the boat would be or what the journey would be like we were in pretty high spirits when we boarded.

Unfortunately the sea between Dubrovnik and Hvar was very choppy and with a fairly serious driver (shame we didn’t have Niksa driving us. Niksa was the owner of Dubrovnik Boats and super cute) the trip wasn’t the best one … especially for the two who were a little susceptible to sea sickness! Its amazing that would look like the smallest wave out in the water from on our speedboat became the hugest when we were hitting them at speed. A few times when I was at the front I nearly flew off and I’m sure Nige bruised his tush! It was probably a good hour and 45 minutes or so from Dubrovnik to Korcula … and another two hours from Korcula to Hvar … so sore butts all around.

When we first left Dubrovnik we were hopeful of stopping somewhere seclude for a bit of a swim but because we had to cut our speed in order not to make the ride rougher than it already was we lost a bit of time. Additionally, the boat had a few problems that needed to be fixed when we got to a pit stop at Korcula – though Niksa was nice enough to buy us a round of drinks whilst our driver fixed the boat.

I’m sure Korcula is beautiful in its own right and worth more than the couple of hours we spent there – as it was we didn’t see much, just having time for a quick lunch and a stroll through. When we were having lunch Daryl asked the waitress whether the pizza was big enough to share and she said if someone asked me for a slice of pizza I would kill them. Hilariously she was deadly serious! We just missed the arrival of the President of Croatia in Korcula too … he must have been on the wave behind us ..

Upon arrival in Hvar our first point of business was to seek out the beach! Although it was nearing 5pm by then it was still nice and hot and the sun very strong so it seemed a waste not to make the most of the afternoon. Our closest beach was a hike over a bit of a mountain … well, it felt like one when we came back up the hill later on heh heh.

The water in Croatia is just so beautiful – incredibly crystal clear though freakin’ cold. When Roopa was tentatively getting into the water this little boy, kind of reminded me of Jungle Boy he was so brown, must have thought she was a total wuss and was splashing her furiously. It was hilarious. Later he and Roopa actually had a stare down over ice cream …

Whilst splashing around I found that some people had been very industrious underwater …

and I couldn’t help but agree with the sentiment!

We stayed in Hvar two nights but because of our late-ish arrival on the first day and our early start on the third day we only really had one day to explore … or as it turns out … relax … in Hvar.

Hvar really attracts those rolling in money if any of the luxury yachts lining the main strip of Hvar Town is any indication. Draw-dropping just for their opulence we were very very tempted to try and jump on one … but for the risk of running into body guards. Heh heh.

One of the attractions in Hvar is the night-life so our first night we got all dolled up ready for a big night out partying at Carpe Diem which is arguably the biggest and most well-known of the clubs on the island. Our plan was to hop on to one of their boats which would take us out to one of the nearby island for an all night party … however, as we walked by the club after dinner we were put off by the youth of those lining up outside. And it was less lining up and more mobbing the front gate! Instead we ended up having our own little party accompanied by music on an iphone broadcast via a mug! on our terrace back at our unit – and I dare say we had a pretty great time!

On our one full day in Hvar we decided to have a very relaxed cooked breakfast in followed by lazing on the beach. I love Croatian beaches and the fact they don’t have sand but pebbles. Although sometimes the pebbles / rocks were a bit rough and we kept tripping and scratching ourselves on them they’re really good at keeping the water clear and there are no pesky sand bits in awkward places at the end!

The beach bars are very cool in Hvar. And we found the hottest guy there! Turns out he was Aussie!

The perfect day was followed up by some very fresh seafood cooked by Nige. It was so lovely – the sea air, the gorgeous food, great company.

It’s a shame we only had a short time in Hvar as it is an absolutely stunning town!

The first leg of our Croatia trip was the fair city of Dubrovnik. Photos photos photos

We arrived in steamy Dubrovnik after a fairly uneventful few hours ride on EasyJet. We’d all had to get up very early to catch our AM flight with some of us, including me!, having only got a couple of hours sleep the night before … sometimes with flights like these you wonder if its not better just to stay up all night! So, we may have been a little bit subdued when we landed. However as soon as we caught our first sight of the Adriatic you couldn’t stop us going crazy. Suddenly all the cameras were out and random shots being taken from our van out the window even though blatantly none of them were going to be worth a penny!

The Experience

We were staying in the old town of Dubrovnik to be close to the action. This UNESCO World Heritage sight surrounded by the majestic city-walls and paved in gleaming cobblestones was utterly charming. Strangely, despite not being a huge area geographically, it never felt like it was overwhelmed with tourists. Our apartment was, whilst old, perfectly located (close to the action but still tucked away) and huge (three bedrooms, two bathrooms including one bathroom which had two sinks and a separate bath and shower, a giant lounge and kitchen) so we were sorted!

Day 1 in Dubrovnik was basically: arrive at airport, arrive at apartment, go out for lunch, go sit on the beach (no s*x allowed though – heh heh), troop back to the apartment to get refreshed around sun down and troop out again for dinner. Nothing too stressful there!

For dinner we ended up at this restaurant (Lokran), as recommended in a guide book, by the harbour. We joined the queue at the perfect moment as we didn’t end up waiting long at all. Not long after we sat down the queue was quite massive. The menu was very simple – so simple they didn’t do chips! I think we all fell in love with the fact our waitress was so honest with us, and of course she was very attractive in the way many Croatians are! She told us that their restaurant didn’t do anything particularly special with their food but they were popular only because they’d been recommended in a guide book! I did feel a bit sorry for Roops, being the lone vegetarian and having as her only option cheese!, whilst we all pigged out on massive pots of squid ink risotto and giant plates of fried fish!

Following the advice from our waiter at lunch the day before, Day 2 involved us heading out of the old town and away from the tourists to hunt down one of the local watering holes. I say watering hole as it wasn’t exactly a beach we found. It was journey well worth it as we not only got some nice hilltop views but we found a little intimate place to relax away from tourists. Don’t you love how I try to pretend I’m not a tourist myself …

At the watering hole we entertained ourselves with floating stars, jumping off rocks, handstands, making friends with sausage dogs called Bruno (he was the cutest thing – he even went swimming, with his own life jacket!) – the usual water shenigans.

… the only negative was that we’d pitched up on to an area which apparently had been “bagsed” by this lady who didn’t even turn up until a couple of hours after we’d been there who, in a passive aggressive manner, showed her discontent. Lucky her timing coincided with our having to leave to embark on what turned out to be a Sea-Kayak-Journey-From-Hell!

The kayak adventure was supposed to be a relaxed enjoyable sunset tour from the Old Town, along the coast a bit before turning and heading around Lokrum Island, in our little kayaks. The first half actually went very well – though we did spend an enormous amount of energy playing around trying to get ahead of each other by pushing off each other’s boats. Su Yin and I were in one boat, the Comello’s, Nige and Cath, in another and the “married couple” Roops and Daryl in the last. Su Yin and I would try to launch sneak attacks on Roops and Daryl especially but apparently they could always hear us coming because of our giggles!

We had a break about halfway through to stop off at a cave where we were supplied with some snorkels for exploring. I must admit it was nice to swim from out of the cave towards the horizon to watch the sun start to come down. Not much to see under the water though even with our snorkels.

Once we started the other half of the loop to head back circumstances got horrible quite quickly! After we waited for the cruiser to get past us … the wind took a turn and we were suddenly caught in a combination of rips and crazy winds. We were practically going backwards or at best sidewards only! So many times Su Yin and I came close to crashing into the coastal rock wall. We were way exhausted trying to fight and eventually we were one of the first, though certainly not the last, boat to be towed back in. Never one to waste an opportunity I used that opportunity to take some snaps of the sunset …

Its fair to say that the end of Day 2 saw us pretty much passed out in bed from our exertion, after a massive dinner.

Day 3 in Dubrovnik was a trip to the island of Mljet. About an hour and a half out of Dubrovnik on a fast catamaran this beautiful island is dominated by a whole lot of forest. One of the best options for getting around the island, if you’re game, is to hire a bike. This was kind of a scary proposition for us since it had been years since most of us had been on one. We were all fine for the first half of the trip … but the second half was a bit of a disaster with Cath taking a major spill and Daryl breaking his bike chain! I’m seeing a sort of pattern to the “second half” of our adventures!

Be warned if you take the bike option – one of the first challenges you’ll face is a massive slope. This was quite good and I welcomed the opportunity to work out our bottom half having worked out our upper bodies so hard on the kayak the day before although I couldn’t help but wonder … weren’t we in Croatia for an idyllic holiday??!! Still, I think we all enjoyed it and it made us appreciate our later sunbathing by the lake a lot more!

Apart form the mishaps on the bike the day was a lovely one though again the work out meant we had plenty of appetite that evening. When we got back to Dubrovnik we hit what was to become our favourite restaurant in Dubrovnik with huge portions (which we didn’t realise we’d get), tasty food and a fantastic waitress. We couldn’t really ask for more, Vesna was a total darling!

Our exertions with the kayak and bike must have stimulated our energy levels somehow and with the extra motivation of working off our giant meal we ended the day by hitting a local club. We were hoping for some hot salsa … unfortunately all we got were a lot of teeny boppers! I swear most of them were about 16 years old – certainly their maturity seemed at that level jumping around on the tables, chairs and up on stage. After some near crashes with people tumbling off tables we decided to get out of there. Man … feeling my age much!

Day 4 in Dubrovnik was Roop’s birthday so we decided to walk down to the Exelcisor Hotel for a posh meal. We ran into the manager on the way to trying to find the restaurant and had the funniest conversation with her. She mentioned the fact that she thought many tourists still thought that Croatias eat their young! And she didn’t think too highly of the Russians and their new money either!

Lunch was lovely – seafood was fresh and our desserts were lovely and a delight. The Croatians, or those in Dubrovnik at least, love their crème caramels so that was the order of our stay in Croatia. Yummo!

The city walls around the Old Town in Dubrovnik are its most prominent and well-known feature so after lunch Su Yin and I took a walk around the 2km wall whilst the others headed to the beach. We got some fantastic vistas up on the wall and seeing the tiling of the red roof against the background of the blue sky was cool. We sort of timed our finish on the wall at sunset too before running down to meet the others at one of the Buzas. Buza, meaning “hole”, is a hole-in-the-wall café bar nestled in the southern walls of the city. An interesting venue for drinks it was certainly popular with both tourists and locals alike, a nicer place you won’t find to watch the sun going down.

For the last 9-10 days I have experienced the joy and wonder of beautiful Croatia. Visiting three cities (Dubrovnik, Hvar, and Split) spread far apart in less than two weeks and giving them a good go certainly had us pushed to our limits but despite some travel hiccups and accommodation uncertainty we came back glowing with our lovely tans and re-invigorated by our mostly idyllic days spent eating, sleeping, swimming, and napping, with a few boat rides and kayak and bike ride adventures thrown in for good measure.

Tips

There are a couple of few to keep in mind when travelling in Croatia, especially during the peak of summer:

Its been about seven years since I last visited Amsterdam so my memory of it has faded somewhat. I think we stayed in a different area last time, being closer to the museums etc., but this time around Laney and I stayed not too far from the red light district. Actually finding decent accommodation for a reasonable price was quite hard, I guess it has something to do with it being summer but we finally we ended up at this B&B which was quite nice, came complete with a towel swan, even if we were on the top floor at the top of some really scary narrow winding stairs (admittedly something that Amsterdam is known for …) Our room even had a split level area with separate bed up a rickety ladder but Laney and I both worried that we’d be too tired, or something else, after a night out for either of us to make it safely up the ladder so we didn’t venture upstairs …

We were pretty lucky with our weekend in Amsterdam, the sun was shining, the temperatures nice and warm and Holland had reached the final of the World Cup (which was played today) so there was a great buzz in the air.

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The Experience

We arrived late on a Friday night after a hard day at work and decided that there wasn’t a better time for a stroll. We ended up touring around the red light district where to my surprise practically everyone walking the street was a dude! I know that there is a particular attraction that is mainly for the men but I was surprised there weren’t at least a few females around. They say you shouldn’t take photos of the ladies in the red light district and it’s a fair piece of advice. For a start the ladies in the red boxes are there to earn and living, and not to be a tourist attraction, so its only respectful not to take photos of them as if they were performing monkeys. Secondly if you do end up taking a photo the ladies are not backwards in coming forward to swear at you, spit at you and even throw water at you. This was something we witnessed first hand when a person in front of us decided to take a photo! I felt really bad for both of them actually!

Our visit to Amsterdam didn’t really have any sort of plan. We thought we’d just wake up and see what we felt like doing. First stop was somewhere for breakfast, or more like an early lunch. It was very nice not to be rushing around trying to fit everything in on a trip. After a breakfast/lunch of croquette for Laney and a hot dog for me (yummy) we were off walking the canals of Amsterdam. Amsterdam is really pretty though as I look at my self-photos again having them in their background every canal looked nearly exactly the same! Ha ha! I noticed there were hooks at the top of most buildings – apparently they used these hooks for moving big item stuff to the top floors rather than risking the narrow staircases they would move the furniture in through the windows. That’s pretty innovative.

After about half an hour of casual strolling we arrived at the House of Bols, but before we got there we saw this:

It didn’t click until a couple of house later that it wasn’t saying “I am sterdam” but rather “I amsterdam”! Derrr! Ha ha.

The House of Bols is a new museum, new in the sense I don’t recall it being there seven years ago, showcasing what Lucas Bols is all about. Basically its an alcohol museum but also filled with some interactive elements. The girl at the front desk was super friendly, even going so far as to help us with recommending one of her favourite local restaurants. Actually as a whole I’ve found that every Dutch person we ran into, in the service industry at least, was very friendly and always willing to have a long chat with us about anything and everything.

Lucas Bols is supposedly the oldest Dutch company still active and the oldest distillery brand in the world. Bols is one line from the company and produces vodkas, gins, genevers (where gin evolved from) and liquers. We spent quite a bit of time in the museum, mainly because the alcohol was so strong that I wasn’t confident about being able to walk for a bit after drinking it! We also spent time in the Hall of Taste where there were over 35 different “smells” which you could test. It was fun but some of the smell were a little shocking and unexpected. Its amazing how many smells you actually misinterpret when you can’t see where it is originating from. At end of the hall is this funny mirror. Laney took the funniest photo ever which had her nearly wetting her pants. I’m sure she’s shown me the photo at least 20 times since over the rest of the weekend …

Another room at Bols is this music video room which Laney decided to transform into our own private disco. Heh heh.

There are other exhibitions etc. in the House of Bols but that’s pretty much what we found interesting except for the alcohol. With your entry to House of Bols you get two free shots and a free cocktail – you redeem this at the end of your visit at the bar at the end. You get to choose your drink from a selection of cocktails, where you can also print out the recipes so you can make it at home. The bar was pretty cool and at the time of day we were there it wasn’t too busy which was nice – so we could take our time over drinks, take stupid photos etc. Its been a while since I’ve had alcohol and in combination with the fact it was very strong it really hit me for six. I could see all the other customers looking at me worriedly as with my glowing red face and bloodshot eyes they must have been worried I’d fall over or something. Heh heh.

Sometimes I don’t know why I drink. I always look terrible!

We met this guy there who was visiting from Germany (he was actually an American working overseas) and he was nice enough. I’m mentioning him because we later saw him at a Bulldog Café! Some people come to Amsterdam to sightsee and some people come experience … shall we say out of body experiences – so that was next up on our itinerary. I have admit that I’ve never indulged in any sort of mind/body altering substances, not even a cigarette, so the experience for me this weekend was very different. We started with a space cake which looked to me like a small chocolate muffin – it sold for €6! The cake tasted really nice but, sadly, it didn’t have any effect on me at all. We had a good table at the Bulldog Café though which overlooked some of the red light district so it was very entertaining to watch the men go in and out of the rooms!

Not long after we’d finished our cakes the guy we met at the House of Bols came along and volunteered to get a packet of reefer. I wasn’t very sure about trying them but I’m glad I did because I know its definitely not for me. Once again they smokes had no effect on me at all, other than giving me a severe sore throat – perhaps I wasn’t smoking it right but it didn’t have any effect on Laney either. So, we decided we had to step it up.

The list of what to do and what not to do with these things goes for pages and seemed almost intimidating before you even start but I think it sums to not eating anything before (to prevent nauseau) or after (it will reduce the effects) and not to do them in combination with other products (or you’ll have flashbacks later on). You’re also supposed to enjoy it in a quiet place, like the park, or your room but basically you should be relaxing and not moving around. This was a mistake we made because for the first hour or so we were walking around town – Laney said she wasn’t feeling any effect but all I remember was feeling scared because I couldn’t tell the difference between a dream and reality. Walking around felt like I was in my head somewhere and I could have easily curled up in a ball in the middle of the street and not realised. Every time I blinked my eyes I would lose five minutes. It was so weird. Thankfully eventually we went back to our room where, as you can imagine, climbing the stairs was an interesting experience. For the rest of the evening I was giggly and apparently talking really loud. A big storm came over Amsterdam as well so that only added to the interesting experience. Fair to say I don’t think I’ll be indulging again in the near future – the lost of control, or really, the loss of the concept of reality was just overwhelming.

And that was Saturday! Sunday was a visit to the Heinekken Brewery. I remember going last time. Its quite a good attraction (did you know that they keep the DNA of the old brew alive!) and you get a couple of free drinks at the end. The funniest part is that when we got to the end of the visit and were going to get our drinks we found this very young Brazilian boy who was going around asking people who were leaving for their drinks if they hadn’t redeemed it. To say he was quite drunk was an understatement. Oh just a hint – there’s a room which has beds where you lay and watch a video above your head. This had the longest line ever for it but its not really worth it – all you get to watch is old adverts for Heinekken!

After Heinekken we went in search of the field which apparently was going to have the biggest outdoor screens in Europe where they would broadcast the World Cup final To our disappointment we would be leaving Amsterdam just as the game started so we couldn’t stay to enjoy the festivities. We were still able to enjoy the atmosphere though, scoring orange T-shirts, and join the flow of orange …

Oh, for a different kind of souvenir make sure you visit this shop:

For the first time in all my travels I went overseas for the pure reason of attending only one event – so much so that I didn’t even really plan what we were going to do of the rest of the weekend we were in Paris. It actually made quite a nice change and unusually when I got back to London tonight I was feeling fairly relaxed … if a bit exhausted from not getting enough sleep on Saturday night.

Photos photos photos

The Experience

Laney and I caught the Eurostar mid-morning in to Paris. I love catching the Eurostar – it just seems so much more a civilised way of getting into the centre of the city than flying into Charles de Gaulle and it doesn’t take all that much longer than flying (once you factor in the checking in, travelling to an from the airport etc.) We arrived in Paris early in the afternoon and after checking in to our hotel had the rest of a glorious day to enjoy Paris.

This weekend was the finals weekend of the French Open and our own Sam Stosur was in the Women’s Final. She was heavy favourite and though I couldn’t get tickets to see it live we saw some of it on the TV. I don’t know what happened but unfortunately she lost! We were a bit disappointed for her!

After watching Sam sadly lose the French Open final our port of call was the Eiffel Tower, well, the area around the Eiffel Tower anyway. It was a hive of activity but most surprisingly there were a number of dance groups that were scattered around. Some were asking for money but some seemed just to be dancing for fun. I loved how they all made it about performance pieces so it was like they were telling a story so it wasn’t just dancing to music. It really made for quite a fun atmosphere and some of the performers were very talented.

The funniest chat up line I’ve ever had happened whilst we were hanging around. You know in Paris there are heaps of African men trying to sell you random stuff from pieces of string you unknowingly let them put on your wrist to fake watches etc. well this dude came up to us and tried to sell us these Eiffel tower watches. We refused of course but then he started to chat me up saying I was beautiful, could he get my email blah blah blah and then he asked me where I was from. I just left it hanging and then he was like “You’re from Brazil aren’t you”. Um … I’m wondering if he was slightly blind cause even though I might have had a Brazilian I certainly wasn’t Brazilian. He was really genuine too cause he started to speak to me in Portugese! I nearly wet myself laughing after he left. Poor bloke.

There were sooo many tourists that just watching people and moving around them made me feel tired! so Laney and I decided to go over to the green near the Eiffel and lay down. It was lovely. Randomly I saw this in the sky. Make what you will of it but I know what I was thinking … hint: what I see is pointing left ….

Somehow it was suddenly time for dinner. I never know where to eat in Paris but a friend of Laney’s recommended Chez Papa. I think its actually a chain but the food was very delicious and filling. There were so many nice looking options on the menu but everyone around us had these gorgeous giant salads topped with a fried egg! They really did look but I was feeling greedier than just salad so, after enjoying some snails (tasty!) went for this veal and cheese option which ended up being served in a large ceramic pot.

I clearly wasn’t thinking when I went for such a heavy meal cause I’d forgotten that I then had to squeeze into my outfit for the evening! A PVC corset and skirt! Umm … yes, not my usual wardrobe …

So the evening brought along the reason for our trip – a visit to Torture Garden – supposedly the world’s leading fetish club! It probably sounds more dramatic than it actually is. Normally there is an event in London kind of every month however for some reason neither Laney or I could make any of the dates but we could make it to the Paris one! It seemed fitting that the event was held at La Machine Du Moulin Rouge. I’ve never been to a fetish club but was interested to see what went down in one.

Getting dressed for the night was very interesting. I could barely get into my corset – Laney had to literally get her knee and knee me into it. Once it was on I couldn’t even sit without feeling like my ribs were breaking. Not sure how ladies used to do it in the olden days! Still it actually kind of felt empowering … even if we did get some funny looks as we made our way to the club. (Turns out that most people changed AT the club!)

I’m not going to go into detail about what went on at Torture Garden but fair to say it was eye opening. Though we had worried about what we were wearing it turned out we were way more conservative than everyone else – the first two girls we saw were basically naked but for bits of rope hiding nothing but strung around their body! During the night (we got home at 6am) there was entertainment on the big stage and entertainment by individuals around us (there were a few frames and stirrups around …) We met some interesting people but what I found strange was that it was only when I was with this guy that I was suddenly getting approached – one guy in a full body suit wanted me to play with him and another time this guy in a rabbit suit came up to us. However, despite the nature of the club I actually felt it was “safer” than a normal nightclub – people are respectively of boundaries and no means no and they respect that without being all sleazy. The funniest incident was when I was standing at the top of the stairs leaning over a banister not realising I was stepping on someone’s hand. When I went to apologise he was like – that’s very okay. I think he deliberately put his hand under my foot!

Due to our activities of the night Sunday was a very relaxed affair. We basically slept until check out, then after a quick stop at the Arc de Triomphe, had a lazy brunch, strolled down the Champs Elysee and visited the car stores and Louis Vutton – which had a long queue outside it to get in. As we were waiting we were surprised to see this Buddhist Monk turn up, with followers, and pose in front of the store!

After this we took a long walk around and then along the Seine where we made a pit-stop at the Diana Memorial (strange flame) and the tunnel where she had the accident. I was very moved by the inscriptions on the bridge above it …

… before having a snooze at Jardin des Tuileries. It was a great way to end the weekend.