People may accuse me of being a perv, and yes I do just love looking at anyone and anything, but I’m sure admitting to going to watch this movie in a public cinema no less would certainly cement that title! Ha! It had me wondering what other type of person would go see this movie and looking around at those in attendance today I have to say that I couldn’t really pin-point a type!

Need I even bother with a plot? Well, ok – in short there is an egotistical scholar who thinks that to get the most out of life you should get as much sexual pleasure as you can. Although he falls in love with a woman she ultimately isn’t enough for him and off he goes to find pleasure elsewhere. I’m sure there’s a moral in there somewhere (Chinese stories always do) about love eventually triumphing but it was lost in the gore and horribleness that was the conclusion.

For those looking for eroticism and a bit of sexy fun don’t bother with this movie. If you want to laugh your head off then you may enjoy it … that is until the last third where suddenly there are some truly awful rape and dismemberment scenes. Not awful in the sense of bad acting but awful as in horrible, dark, and downright unpleasant. I’m not really sure why it needed to go there because up until then it could at least be sold on its merits as somewhat of a comedy.

Not really date material this one!

Sometimes the best movies are the ones that sneak up on you. Craig and I made a last minute decision to check out the Norwegian fantasy film The Troll Hunter and I must say it was one of the most enjoyable and fun movies that I’ve seen in a very long time. Filmed in the style most recently made famous by The Blair Witch Project, The Troll Hunter is an infinitely classier production. Not that I’ve seen The Blair Witch Project myself but there was something about the humour mixed in with realism and fantasy in tonight’s movie that made it pretty special.

The Troll Hunter follows a group of students who want to tell the story of trolls under the theory that there has been some giant government cover-up to hide their existence. They team up with a reluctant “bear” hunter, played by Norwegian comedian Otto Jespersen, to try and capture these trolls.

I think it was the wit and the dead-pan way that the whole story was told that drew me into this film and it almost fit into the so-silly-it-was-utterly-enjoyable-category. The actors, mostly unknown, were superb and I really loved Otto!

Its very hard to explain the magic it wove over me but I’m definitely under the spell of The Troll Hunter. Troll! A must see film.

I went along to see this movie mainly for a laugh – I mean seriously, apes taking over the earth? The trailers looked so hilarious. Rise of the Planet of the Apes is a reboot of the series Planet of the Apes – James Franco is a scientist working at a big pharmaceutical company on a finding a cure for Alzheimer’s disease and of course chimps are used as the test subject. The drug mutates in the chimps giving them human level intelligence but because of one chimps gone bad all of the chimps are put down, except one of the babies. James Franco injects the “cure” into his father hoping to cure his Alzheimer’s and though it works for a while its effects soon taper off and James is forced to create something even more powerful. More chimps have been brought in in the mean time and the drug hits their system causing a city-wide outbreak. In the end the chimps only want to get across the Golden Gate Bridge to reach the forest but humans, as usual, not understanding the situation try to kill them en masse.

The movie wasn’t as horribly terrible as I thought it was going to be and in fact it contained some very touching moments which could have come across as corny. Great visual effects and some fairly significant content actually gave this movie more weight than I was expecting. Quite enjoyable.

Whilst I enjoyed the Hangover I wasn’t as huge of a fan of it as many other people. And it seems I’m on the opposite side of opinions again because I absolutely loved the Hangover II where many people are just saying its okay. Sure, there are no surprises in this second outing (its set in Thailand rather than Las Vegas), but for some reason I just found there were more laugh out loud moments than in the first. It does seem a bit darker and much raunchier (cue lady boy and sex-obsessed gay monkey jokes here) but it just really struck my funny bone.

The gang are re-united as Stu is set to marry his Thai love. He is insistent he will not be having a bachelor party this time around and agrees to what he thinks are a few quiet drinks on the beach. Roll to the next scene and the gang wake up in a filthy hotel room to once again de ja vu their first morning in Vegas. None can re-collect what happened and worse they seem to have lost Stu’s fiance’s little brother.

Okay – nothing original in this one: a monkey instead of a tiger, a lady boy instead of a pro etc. etc. but somehow, to me at least, it was just a lot funnier. I think it all comes down to the fact that everyone and everything was so much more over the top – Mr Chow in particular ups the wattage, and they threw this monk into the story-line too.

I think I’m even feeling inspired enough to go and watch the first one again!

On a side note, just as the movie was starting we got evacuated! We were eventually let back in but I swear the cinema was so much fuller than it was before we got kicked out. Talk about people taking advantage!

The fact that the single biggest news item regarding this third instalment in the Transformers films related to Megan Fox being replaced by Rosie Huntington-Whiteley as the female lead made me a touch skeptical about the film. However, I enjoyed the first two movies for their total suspension of reality and and I have to say I enjoyed this one too for the same reason. Sure there were moments that grated like Shia LaBeouf, or his character at least, and the fact that McDreamy was cast as the bad guy (boo), and I nearly fell asleep in the middle of it (no comment on the quality of the action in the movie or anything – I was just a bit tired! and the movie was waaaaaay long) but overall I can’t help but adore the Transformers themselves (they are so cute) and of course the hot Josh Duhamel in his fatigues. Ah.

I could go into what the story-line is but I’m not sure there’s a point. Check your mind at the door and enter all those who just want to see loads of things blown up. For me it was just what the doctor ordered after a brain-draining last two months …

I was a bit skeptical about X-Men: First Class as having seen the trailers I was left feeling a bit under-whelmed. However, the movie actually turned out very well and I think that was due for the most part to the back to basics story-telling and less on just it being about special effects (though there was enough to keep the action going.)

X-Men: First Class tracks back to the beginning of the X-Men, back to the end of WWII when all these secret experiments were still going on, back to when mutants first start to discover their powers and the alliances of heroes and villains start to form.

I loved the focus on the relationships between all the characters, especially that between the two leaders, Charles Xavier and Erik Lensherr (who is later known as Magneto.) Good acting. If there was one thing that I think was slightly mis-balanced it was the final battle which seemed overlong and never-ending. Otherwise a “first class” movie.

Honestly I don’t even remember watching Fast & Furious (that’s Fast 4) but let’s be honest you don’t really need to know too much of the back story to fully enjoy any of the movies in the “The Fast and The Furious” franchise – you just have to enjoy slick cars, fine men, hot gals and heist / trickster storylines. Fast Five opens with Vin Diesel being broken out of his prison transport bus by Jordana Brewster and Paul Walker. They escape to Rio where the rest of this movie is set. They find themselves out of money so help out on a job heist to lift three cars from a train. In short there’s a sort of double-cross and the trio end up with the car which has something very important in it – so important that the drug king pin of Rio would do anything to get it back. Of course the DEA get involved … and welcome to The Rock. He is the man. I swear – total chemistry when The Rock and Vin Diesel are onscreen (and not in a g*y way!) You’d think that two big actors like that onscreen would be a total fizzle but they are absolutely awesome together. Love those guys.

Fast & Furious differs slightly from the rest of the franchise in the sense that there is less focus on the street-racing scene and more on the heist angle, think of an Italian Job and Ocean’s Eleven mash-up. The one surprise of the movie was that it was really long – you don’t often get action movies going beyond the 90 minute mark, guess they had a load of action and “story” to fit in.

Its got a giant cast (google if you really care to know) but kudos definitely to the cast for not taking it all too seriously. The movie was hot on action but it was also very entertaining and funny. Did I mention that the cast are particularly attractive in this movie – people-wise and car-wise! Movie was also a laugh a minute and it certainly had some memorable quotes. My favourite:

Roman Pearce: Sexy legs, baby girl. What time do they open?
Gisele: [pulls her gun on Roman] They open at the same time I pull this trigger. Want me to open them?

Ha!

Look out for the hook at the end of the movie after the “first” set of credits.

Sucker Punch tells the story of Babydoll, who is institutionalised by her abusive stepfather after she witnesses him abusing her little sister and accidentally kills her. She enters the institution where she is to be lobotomised as arranged by her stepfather so she can’t inform the police of the true story. Babydoll enters a fantasy world where the institution is a brothel and meets up with a bunch of other girls trapped inside. It was hard to really know the difference between reality, and fantasies within fantasies but the main gist is that when Babydoll dances in the brothel she imagines a world where her and the girls are fighting off their enemies.

It felt like a comic book, video game, music video all rolled into one. I liked the fact that the main theme throughout the movie was one of (female) self-empowerment and of course it was fantastic that the kick-ass leads were all females. Yes it had its cheesy moments such as when this geezer (the Wiseman who was kind of the girls’ spiritual guide in the fantasies) would spout saying such as:

– If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.
– Don’t ever write a check with your mouth you can’t cash with your ass.
– For those who fight for it, life has a flavor the sheltered will never know.

Visually it was stunning with awesome sets and awesome costumes. Great soundtrack to the movie too. It’s a shame the plot got in the way sometimes … but if you can put aside the plot you can sit back and enjoy the eye-candy this movie delivers.

Marks to this movie which comes up with an original concept. Bradley Cooper plays an author who has extreme writer’s block. He comes across an old friend who supplies him with a new drug which allows him to access parts of his brain he normally doesn’t access. For the day he is able to operate in overdrive, he writes his book in no time at all but that’s not enough for him until eventually he is brought into one of the biggest mergers in business history by Robert De Niro. There are bad guys and there are good guys who are bad buys.

The movie is action packed, extremely violent and fast-paced. Bradley Cooper proves that he can do justice to an action role. Solid acting in support roles by De Niro and various other cast members. The only let down, as with many movies in this category, is the predictable end. Still it was a nice ride to the end.

James and I went to see the delicious (my word not James’) Marky Mark in The Fighter tonight at Westfield. The screening was in one of Westfield’s Gold Class or “Scene” screens – a truly luxury experience with reclining seats, private bar, private loos and I think you can get unlimited popcorn if you pay a little extra – tickets are a little on the pricey side but Orange Wednesdays makes it a little more palatable. I was wondering how they control access to the cinema as there was this one lady who clearly didn’t have a ticket and kept sitting down in various seats but having to move as the true occupants claimed their seats. Too bad she picked Orange Wednesday to cheat Vue!

The Fighter is a biographical drama focusing on the life of professional boxers Micky Ward and his older half-brother Dicky Eklund. Mickey has had a modest career and Dicky had one highlight in his boxing career but has since spiraled down into the depths of crack addiction. Dicky is being filmed for what he believes is a HBO documentary on his comeback … but turns out to be a doco on what crack addiction does to a career.

There are no real surprises or thrilling moments in the film (its less about the action in the ring than outside of it) – but it is solidly written and genuinely and passionately acted. I will always love Marky Mark but you gotta give Christian Bale his due – he really has this method acting stuff down pat. Both are well supported by an array of cast members including Amy Adams and Melissa Leo.